The Imperfection Experiment
This is my first and only draft of this. Whatever this is. I am not editing it or changing it at all. So there will be errors and mistakes. Why am I doing this? It’s an exercise I guess. See, I’ve spent so much of my life not moving forward with things I believe in because I feel like I have to get it right before I do.
It’s been brought to my attention lately (in loving ways) that some of the videos/articles I put out don’t seem to be coming from my heart—that they’re all business. And I get it. I can have compassion for myself about why that’s the case. Honestly, it wasn’t until a few years ago that I was even able to speak on camera at ALL. I was so terrified. Of what others might think. Of being picked apart. Of being wrong. Of not having it all together. And it’s something I support my clients through, like I’ve done with myself, all the time!
So why not talk about it?
I have another confession. I have so many articles that are almost finished. I think all the time about what topics I could cover that would be helpful for you—from support on helping you start or finish your creative projects to how your relationships affect your creativity to how to believe in yourself or if you even “should”. There’s a fat file folder of them on my computer and I feel like I need to skinny it up. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about which one to start with, if I should have an order to them or what angle to write them from. And when I DO decide on an article I usually spend so much time writing it and re-writing it, I’m not really ever SURE that it’s coming from the place I want to come from.
Here’s another confession—I haven’t often let the warm, loving and compassionate side of myself, the one that leads the way when I support people through one-on-one work and hold the space for them as they confront and move through deep pain, the one who endlessly believes in them and encourages them to go for their dreams, cheering them on one step at a time, and able to hear them tell me anything without judging them—I don’t often let her into these writings. I want to. But maybe I over think it.
But that part of me is real (as is the business-oriented side which is not a BAD thing) and my intention is to find more balance there. The truth is, I’m creating and writing all the time. And I’m really feeling the need to widen the funnel and channel through which I let them flow. With more warmth and fuzziness. And remember, that it’s ok if I haven’t been here yet. I’m here at this place now.
And if you’re feeling stuck with anything. Unable or fearful of moving forward for fear it won’t be perfect, I invite you to join me, and just let it out. However imperfect or uncalculated.
And simply honor yourself for opening to the flow. Moving forward without having it all figured out. And remember that that is how you grow and learn. It’s a step in putting yourself and your creativity out there that just can’t be avoided. So let’s do it together. (I have another confession. I just read over this and couldn’t help myself in fixing one spelling error… but I’m hoping you won’t judge me for that 😉 )
OK, so technically this is an addendum, not a change…
I received more positive responses from readers about this blog than any other I’d written to date. And I encourage you to do a little experiment of your own: Create something in one unedited swoop, not stopping to edit, change, or plan at all. A monologue, a song, a comedy set, the first chapter of a novel—whatever, and share it. Just make sure you share it with at least several people so you can get a range of feedback. Then be sure to head over to my FB group — TEA House — and share with us how it went.